Much has been written about healing our post-adoption trauma.  Adoptees and birth mothers (first mothers) do need to express grief and heal festering wounds, but we should not have to spend hundreds of dollars on adoption seminars or therapy.

 

Many will tell you that talking with another adoptee or birth mother is the best therapy–this is the best way to have one’s feelings validated.  Many of us have had our experiences trivialized or negated by others.  Negation of our feelings may cause anger, withdrawal, depression, etc.  Support groups and forums often validate our feelings, where we learn that other adoptees and birth mothers have felt the same way!

 

 Bibliotherapy (books) might help some individuals: Bradshaw teaches us to heal our shame, to heal our wounds, and most importantly, to love ourselves! Some individuals might find that the TWELVE-STEP principles help us to recognize that we feel powerless about our strong emotions (evoked by adoption), and may encourage us to seek serenity through a Power or force higher than ourselves.

 

Wounds may heal but there will be psychic scars.  Perhaps, more than anything, we need to accept those scars.  They are part of us, part of who we became, part of who we are!